13 Comments
User's avatar
emwils's avatar

Laura, I can’t thank you enough for this series. All your metaphors, reframes and perspectives are so wonderful and healing to me. 💛

Laura E. Wolfe's avatar

I’m glad it’s helpful! Thank God!

Timothy G. Patitsas's avatar

This was so good and helpful. So grateful to be your subscriber.

A.T. Shackelford's avatar

This piece might primarily be about sexual ethics, but its treatment of virtus as a whole is excellent. The dichotomies of Christian ethics are difficult for modernity because they are not quantifiable data points; they require wisdom, balance, and experience to embody properly.

I sent this to all of my single friends.

Well done.

Laura E. Wolfe's avatar

Yes!! Absolutely!! One of my lightbulb moments in reading the Church Fathers was that details aside, fighting sin in any arena follows the same model: Pray more, grow in love, and practice the virtue opposite the vice.

Following rules is so much easier than growing, and so what is meant as a tool becomes an end in itself. It's right there in the Gospels.

Nick Marshall's avatar

I didn't know that there were other people who had been through those places, and arrived here.

Pj's avatar
Jan 7Edited

How does this relate to homosexuality then? Because it seems at first blush a committed gay relationship also involves spiritual formation.

Laura E. Wolfe's avatar

I think the first premise creates space for this. Because immature humans will use their sexual powers to hurt each other, we no longer operate from a rules-based premise that says "heterosexual married sex is okay." In truth, heterosexual married sex can very much be subject to the abuse of eros and thymos. In that case, committed homosexual relationships are on the same hook.

If you are asking about yourself, I can offer that I know several homosexual Christians, though they are usually quite private.

Dana Ames's avatar

This is brilliant, Laura. It also fits with the passage in Hebrews 2 that points to the deep underlying thing, fear of death/non-existence (on many levels, not simply physical), that gives a kind of energy to the immature ways we use our powers and thus pushes us to enslavement to [sin as missing the mark of being integrated as real persons].

Dana

votecreatedequal's avatar

So this spiritual father or mother is very vague and seems like it needs its own set of rules to determine.

Maybe that's why the church put the sexual morality rules down in black and white so that people could read them and know what is right and wrong without a potentially false spiritual director clouding things.

I do like your nuclear analogy though.

Laura E. Wolfe's avatar

I guess you’re talking about me? I’m glad you like the analogy, but must make clear that I have never made any claims to spiritual directorship, and if anyone asks me a personal question, I will immediately direct them to the particular parish priest who has a real life, real world relationship with them.

Internet religion is dangerous, subject to all of the temptations and wiles of fairyland, and I write as a thinker and an essayist (to essay, to try). As I said in my post-script, “And if you’re struggling with how to actually practice this, talk to your priest or spiritual father—this isn’t meant to be a solo journey.”

votecreatedequal's avatar

No, you yourself refer to spiritual fathers and mothers: "It’s the acknowledgment of reality: Spiritual formation happens through the guidance of wise spiritual fathers and mothers who know you, your struggles, your specific situation—and who can apply the general principles to your particular life in ways that lead to healing rather than destruction."

In today's world, would that everyone would have an easy way to identify such paragons.

But thank God for having his church put the rules down in black and white!

Laura E. Wolfe's avatar

Ahhh, I understand. Yes, finding spiritual fathers and mothers is itself a strange and unexpected path. But God is good, and He provides. ❤️